i'm holding on to a fairytale

wtfstyls:

 In grade 8 I really hated this girl so I collected the sugar from my pack of sour patch kids and gave it to her saying its cocaine and she actually  snorted it and at recess she pretended she was high and she was called crack whore for the rest of the year. Now she does real crack and blames me saying I got her addicted. She still doesnt know it was just sugar

I just hope that one day—preferably when we’re both blind drunk—we can talk about it.
J.D. Salinger (via pastured)
If they don’t like you who the fuck cares.
Unknown (via perfect)

cumillionaire:

If my jokes offend you:

  1. I’m sorry
  2. It won’t happen again
  3. 1 & 2 are lies 
  4. You’re a pussy
kwak505:

alex turner is a lyrical genius who the hell could come up with this

kwak505:

alex turner is a lyrical genius who the hell could come up with this